Im not married and I didnt get pregnant!!

Sophie is officially mine. Got her birth cert yesterday (I prayed like 100x) on my way to JPN. Fortunately, they just asked for my IC and some documents and the cert is done. Well, people has been talking about mesince the first time a good friend of mine posted Sophie's picture on Facebook. A lot of them were asking "When did I get married?", "When she got pregnant?".. The answer is I never got married and were never pregnant. I got Sophie from someone provided I take care of her during her pregnancy. Thats the answer to those questions. Wanted to just shut those people off but I know the more I talk, the more they will ask so I just better shut my moth and wait for them to accept the fact that I have a baby.

For the past few months, a lot of things happened to me. Taking care of a young pregnant girl was not easy. It's just like taking care of your teenage daughter. Cook for her la... Ask where and with whom she's going out with la.. Bring her to the doctor la.. Not only that, my family and friends were not supportive when what I really needed was their support to keep me going. And a lot of them said it's hard la... I need a lot of money to raise a kid.. Adopted child is not the same as real ones.. HAIZZZ!!!!!

Children Pornographic..PLS STOP!!

I watched Oprah today and today's topic was so disturbing that it stucked in my mind.

Well, it was actually about child pornographic. Basically, the children are forced to have sex and most of them are aged between 4-6.. It's like.. What are those people thinking. Children are supposed to be loved, to be pampered.. They should be laughing instead of crying in pain.

One of the porn, as described by the Oprah guest, showed how a tiny little girl, tied on a bed where several kids at the side of the bed watching. A man came and started touching her and raped her for more than 30 minutes. For that tape, the creator of the tape removed the sound so that viewers wont hear her voice shouting and crying. It's so sad. How can she endure such pain at such a young age.

I seriously don't know how some people enjoy watching it. These kind of people are sick and they shouldn't be allowed to be near children.

What I miss the most in life..

I really miss dancing. I've been dancing my whole life. How I miss performing in front of people.. How I miss competing in dancing.. How I miss entertaining people.. How I miss being so tired but still keep moving coz dancing is what I like best.

'sigh..'

It's not that I want to stop but I have to put it on back to give way for future. I was once told myself.. If can't study, I'll dance..

I don't believe that I can get both. To choose between accountancy and dancing, I'll choose dancing. It's not easy to pursue dancing here and that is why I chose what I think will give me a brighter future. Maybe, if Im successful enough, I can dance again. So, right now, I'll just have to dance in front of the mirror to satisfy myself.

My mom and her appendicitis..

I took half day leave yesterday just to visit my mom. My sister and her fiance visited her the day before and told me that she looked pale. Actually, on Friday night, she had been complaining about the pain in her stomach, so, on Saturday morning she was brought to Sime Darby Healthcare to see what's going on. After some checkups, the doctor identified that she has appendicitis and was admitted right away. I think she went for her operation on the same day itself.


What made me angry was the fact that my younger sister didn't even know that she was admitted to the hospital and my mom had undergone a surgery. I even called her that Saturday itself to see what she doing and have a small talk. Apparently, she was still sleeping and everyone has gone out.

Ok..So, back to my story... Yesterday I told her that I was going to come over. WHAT HAPPENED?? She has forgotten that I was coming and went out for shopping. I was like.. "What!!! You're sick and you still have that energy to go out and shop??"

Well, I guess, she's just a Superwoman..

There's just an empty space here

When a girl reached to a certain age, she will start think of starting a family and have kids. Most girls will dreamed of having the most perfect wedding they ever imagine. Having a beach wedding full with white roses on the isle along with acoustic back on the side playing my favorite songs.


But, how if the you partner does not think likewise. In fact, you're not even in his life plan? How if waiting for the answer will only lead you to disappointment? How if you really love that person and you're willing to take the risk of waiting when you know the chances are small, will you wait? Have you ever feel like your heart has been sprinkled by acid and when its about to heal, the sprinkle of acid comes again?

Thinking of this made me feel insecure. Just scared of making the wrong decision. I've made a lot of mistakes in the past and making more mistakes means wasting more time. But how if it is not a mistake? Should I take risk or just go where it brings me?